Why I’m voting for John McCain
midcan5 on July 29th, 2008
Here is my list of the ten reasons why I will be voting for John ‘McSame’ McCain in November in no particular order.
1. John is old and that means he has lots of experience, you know like when old people tell you how it was before the Internet, cell phones, and TV. That’s important to know in case sometime in the future there are no Internet, cell phones, or TV.
2. Change! heck no, more of the same, all kinds of the same! The republicans keep trying so surely maybe the next thirty years will be better. Wars, massive deficits, Katrina, energy, healthcare, sagging wages, corporate corruption, see how minor these things are, it’s not like anything important is in that list.
3. He supports Reverend Hagee, I hate Catholics too (not really) and endtime being around the corner, WTF difference does it make! Once we bomb a few other countries and Israel bombs the rest, God is going to say, hey, time for endtime so I can reward all these bombers. You ever wonder what God thinks when one of her creatures gets blown to smithereens!
4. He will visit the rest of the world once he is president. Cheap vacations are good things you know, and he can forget things like he did in Israel and mix things up like he does daily. It won’t matter anyway cause he will be in some other part of the world. Plus with that temper do we really want him near that nuclear button!
5. He voted against supporting the troops financially when he sided with Bush on cheap benefits, claims everyone should be able to marry a rich Beer heiress, he did. Plus he working on a new book, tentatively titled ‘Ditch the old spouse and marry up the food chain made easy.’
6. If Fox loves him and Rush and that buffoon Savage love him, what’s not to love. Well I know they just started loving him. Even Ann Coulter who used to hate him now hates Obama more, that’s an important qualification for voting in America: hate levels. ‘Dislike, hate, really hate, and despise’ are clear cut political reasons for voting for our guy.
7. He is rich today, and isn’t America about the rich, well today it is. He doesn’t understand the economy, neither do I. The rich will love him more as he continues third world - the heck with the have-nots - policies. Poor people see number five.
8. Finished at the bottom of his class and yet had the great military and political insight to think we would be greeted as liberators in Iraq and it would be just lovely and democracy would grow so quickly we would be done in 2003 or 2004 at the latest. What year is it by the way?
9. People starve all the time, a few more in America won’t matter, deficits eventually are fixed by democrats, so hell, just keep the ‘trickle down’ economics going John ‘McSame” McCain, I love you too much. Actually it is the rich people who love you but hey WTF again.
10. You know John ‘McSame’ McCain is the man, last in his class just like Bush, how can we go wrong. Four more years of screw-ups, who in America won’t feel all warm and fuzzy over that. And marrying money, ain’t that about American as one can get! And working class people someday if you’re lucky you too can be rich, I hear poor people win the lottery every day. Or see number five above for new get rich quick book.
So folks I will be casting my ballot for John ‘McSame’ McCain in November and I hope you all will be too. ‘More of the same,’ ‘more of the same,’ shout it from your trailer park rental today. Wal-mart is now selling magnets with these words and John’s face embossed on them, made in China and cheap too, beautify that castle of yours with several.
July 30th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Here is my list of the ten reasons why I will be voting for Barak ‘Hussein’ Obama in November in no particular order.
1. Barak is young and unaccomplished and that means he has zero experience, you know like when old people tell you how it was before the Internet, cell phones, and TV. That’s important to know in case sometime in the future there is a problem that has nothing to do with the Internet, cell phones, or TV.
2. Change! heck yeah, more speeches about hope! The democrats keep trying so surely maybe one day they’ll stop talking about hope, or love, or peace, or really just stop talking and do something. Wars, massive deficits, Katrina, energy, healthcare, sagging wages, corporate corruption, see how minor these things are, it’s not like anything important is in that list that we cant fix by good speeches….
3. He supported being a member of a church for 20 years with a very clear message, I hate America too (not really) and white people, WTF difference does it make if a person’s spiritual leader is a racist and an America hater! Once we preserve freedom and liberty for the world from under the claws of tyranny, God is going to say, hey, time for the chickens to come home to roost. You ever wonder what God thinks when one of her creatures is killed for no other reason than they are jewish?
4. He will bow down to the rest of the world once he is president. Cheap friends are good things you know, and we can forget things like we did in France and mix things up with dictators and fascists. It won’t matter anyway cause we cant we all just get along. Plus with McCains vast and distinguished record of service to our nation do we really want him near that nuclear button!
5. He decided against visiting the troops for political reasons, and we all hate visiting the troops.’
6. If MSNBC loves him and Olberman and that buffoon Pelosi love him, what’s not to love. Well I know they just started loving him. Even Hillary Clinton who used to hate him now hates McCain more, that’s an important qualification for voting in America: hate levels. ‘Dislike, hate, really hate, and despise’ are clear cut political reasons for voting for our guy.
7. He is rich today, and isn’t America about the rich, well today it is. He doesn’t really understand the economy because he’s never have a real job, neither have most americans. The rich will love him more as he tries to make them feel better about not being poor by giving good speeches. Poor people see number two.
8. Finished at the top of his class and yet had the great military and political insight .. wait this guy has really no military knowledge and hardly any political experience.. what qualifies him to be president? OH YEAH, great speeches of hope.
9. People starve all the time, a few more in America won’t matter especially if we give a good speech about it, and my guy gives good speeches, i know he has no experience in really anything but as long as you can talk about a problem thats all that matters, fixing it another matter but we’ll leave that to republicans.
10. You know Barak ‘Hussein’ Obama is the man, no experience to speak of, how can we go wrong. Four more years of screw-ups, who in America won’t feel all warm and fuzzy over that. And marrying a black militant woman, ain’t that about American as one can get! And working class people someday if you’re lucky you too can be rich, but we’re gonna punish you if you do that. In the mean time, dont worry, my guy is a good speaker and thats all that matters especially since someone else writes the words, but can you imagine how hard it would be to deliver a speech, it is the most important aspect we could ask for in a president.
So folks I will be casting my ballot for Barak ‘Hussien’ Obama in November and I hope you all will be too. ‘Giving speeches is just too high a quality to pass up on. I mean watching him the other day in Berlin it reminded me of the power that a relatively inexperienced ideologue can have when they are a captivating speaker, in fact i think there was another one like that, that used to speak in Berlin… cant go wrong!!